Slick Willy to His Lady
My mistresses are nothing like you, wife.
Their tongues are deft, their flowing hair is wild.
They like it dirty, they enjoy rough strife
while you, my love, are prudish, poised and styled.
My mistresses are moist and hot to trot.
Nothing in their gaze is chaste or shy.
Ambitious dreams and plans they haven’t got
while you, my love, have bigger fish to fry.
My mistresses are turned on by my power.
My charism gives them [fill-in-the blank]
and gives it to them amply, by the hour,
while you, my love, I have to oil and crank.
And yet, by god, good wife, I love you well
and am your lewd and loyal infidel.